Pug Proposal of 2013

By the time this is posted, she'll have said yes. I proposed to my girlfriend and the proposal has required a bit of planning. I wanted it to be something thoughtful and have a story worth telling later on. I know too many couples who's story of "How'd he propose?" go something like "I dunno; I just asked her one day and she said yes. The rest is history." Fair enough but I wanted to do something a bit more.

I've been with Melissa a while and I'm confident she's the one. We've been through a lot and she's my best friend. I decided I was going to propose but I just wasn't sure how. We've been talking about getting a dog so I had the thought of surprising her with the dog and have the ring around the dog's collar. I thought it was a little lame initially but everyone I'd talked to about it said it was a very good idea. More specifically, Melissa and I have talked about getting a pug. We've both loved pugs and have wanted one but currently rent a condo from a landlord who isn't very into dogs due to worries property damage reasons; Understandable. So, with that all in mind, I had a few different parts of my plan to accomplish before I could pop the question. I had to:

• Get permission from my landlord to get a dog
• Ask Melissa's parents for their blessing to marry her
• Get the money for the dog and the ring
• Buy the ring
• Pickup the dog

Get Permission from Landlord for a Dog

This was my first step. When we moved in to this place a year ago, the lease said no dogs, only 1 cat and required a $300 annual non-refundable pet-fee. To me, that just seemed like a lot. I've had cats and the pros to having a single cat isn't worth that price to me. I guess I can't say I'm a cat person. What I was more keen on doing was doing a one-time non-refundable pet-fee, even it was more money initially. Something like $500. My thought was that a small, generally good-natured dog such as a pug couldn't possibly do more damage than our security deposit and pet fee couldn't cover. After some going back and forth with our landlord, we agreed that $240 non-refundable annual pet fee was doable as long as I also got renter's insurance. Just for the pet-fee and the renter's insurance, we're already looking at $400/year. At first, that seemed a bit much but a co-worker put it very simply; When you get a dog, you're not just buying an animal; You're getting a best friend, a companion and a small party every time you come home. You're basically buying happiness. I can't argue with that.  

Ask Melissa's Parents For Their Blessing

This was actually the last thing I did. Last Friday, I hacked into Melissa's phone (aka, used it while she was asleep) and sent her Dad's contact to me and deleted the text message from her conversation history. Later that afternoon, I called her Dad and explained that I wanted to talk to him and Melissa's Mom about something without Melissa. I told him to call Melissa and say that he needs me to fix his computer before the Family Dinner we had planned for Sunday at noon. Melissa wanted to come along but I convinced her that it wouldn't take me long to fix his computer (*wink, wink*). Her Mom was very excited, saying "I knew you were the one as soon as she brought you home. You're so good for her." Her Dad said "You ain't marryin' me!" with a chuckle. I told him that I had expected him to say something about killing me if I ever hurt her and he replied "I don't have to tell you; You already know." He was crystal clear. 

Getting The Money

This was actually the most complicated part of the whole idea. Melissa and I have a shared bank account. I needed at least $1500 and there's no way I was sneaking that out of our savings without her knowing. She checks the bank account more than I do. I discussed this issue with my friend Steven and he came up with a great idea;

Steven and his wife got married last year and Melissa knows this. Melissa also knows that Steven and his wife are buying a new home and are putting a lot of work into fixing it up. Steven said that we can tell Melissa that he and his wife filed their taxes wrong due to it being their first year filing jointly, had to get an extension and are still awaiting their tax return. However, they need that money to get carpet and a few other things for their new place so they can move in. Add in that they have to be out of their old place very soon and it makes a perfect storm of a good friend needing a fair amount of money for a short-term loan. 

Steven and I are guys so we normally would've just shook on it. I just needed Melissa's approval because it's our bank account the money is coming out of. She wasn't very happy about loaning money at all, let alone $1500 but I told her to let me worry about it. She agreed but only if we drew up a document, legally contracting them to pay back the money by August 1st. Since Steven and his wife were in on this, they agreed but only if Steven and I drew up a second contract nullifying the first, which we did. 2 contracts later, I've got the money and Melissa was still in the dark about it. 

Buying the Ring

This was probably the second most frustrating part of it all. Last time I'd bought a ring, it was at Meijer (For those not living in the north, it's very similar to Walmart). Despite my Dad spending several years working for a company that manufactured jewelry, I knew next to nothing about jewelry at all. I didn't even know where to start looking. Melissa had shown me a ring she really liked a while back so I figured I'd just try to get that one or similar. It was a 1/3rd carat, round-cut, solitaire set in white gold. It was a nice ring but nothing seriously fancy. The place (Kay Jewelers) had engagement rings that went up to $20k but thankfully this one was not nearly that expensive. 

I asked some people around my office about it and they had either gotten their rings quite a while ago or they didn't get them from any place around here. Most people didn't have any specific recommendations on where to shop either. My future Bro-in-Law was the most vocal on this matter. I told him I was looking at a ring from Kay and he starts saying how jewelry chain stores have crazy mark-ups on their products, that I could get a better deal elsewhere, though he also admitted that the ring I was looking at looked a lot like the engagement ring he bought for Melissa's sister for which he paid notably more than I was paying. He also had no recommendations as to where else I should go, which is what really pissed me off. Disliking chain stores I can understand but saying something sucks without having any real legitimate claims or any better suggestions other than "Don't!" is a quick way to piss me off. 

In all fairness, I do know that jewelry stores place a significant mark-up on their products. However, it was the ring that Melissa wanted and it was at a price I was willing to pay so I figured it was a win-win. It's also worth noting that I don't get a lot of time away from Melissa and when I do, it's for a predetermined reason. I don't exactly have the ability to go shopping around at every mom & pop jewelry store to find the best deal on a ring similar to what Melissa likes. Bro-in-Law understood after we discussed it with him and he learned how to bug me in the process. 

Picking Up the Dog

Melssa and I have both had dogs before but we haven't had any together. Neither of us had ever owned a pug either but we both really liked them and have talked about how we'd care for it, etc. I'd already filled out the paperwork for adopting through the Pug Rescue of Florida but I had to have an option open for if I can't surprise her with a dog. Melissa has a small stuffed-animal pug that she got years ago so I decided that would have to do. I was going to get a small collar, put the ring on it, and have a custom tag that says "I love you Melissa" on one side"Will you marry me?" on the other.

The more I thought about it, the more I leaned towards just using the stuffed pug rather than a real one. I can't manage to pick up the right thing for her when she sends me to the grocery store for something. I sure as hell didn't want to pick out the "wrong" pug. I also figured that she'd appreciate having a hand in choosing the dog and everything.

How It Went Down

After I got everything I needed, I still didn't have an exact time or process for proposing. Bro-in-Law suggested taking her out to a nice restaurant but I figured that would tip Melissa off to something. We had to go shopping for the week so I decided to do it then. Before we left for Publix, I pretended to leave my phone in the house, leaving her waiting in the car. While she thought I was looking for my phone, I was putting the collar with the ring and tag on the stuffed pug and left it a few feet into the house so she'd see it when we got home. We came home, and as soon as she came in, she saw it. She was startled at first, wondering who broke into our home just to put her stuffed pug in the hallway. I told her to pick it up. She did, she read the tag, saw the ring and immediately starting crying (but they were happy tears). I told her to flip the tag over. She flipped it, read it, cried harder and said yes. It was awesome and she had no idea! She's given me shit for months about loaning that kind of money, for me saying I wasn't going to propose soon, etc. She never saw it coming. 

Her whole family knew I was planning this and have helped me with different parts of it. For that, I couldn't be more grateful. Steven and his wife Kari were also very helpful. I wouldn't have gotten the money past Melissa without their help. I told her to call her family and tell them before doing anything on Facebook. I learned the hard way my last engagement that family doesn't like to find out about important events like that via Facebook. After a few calls and texts were made, I figured a 2 and a half our head-start was sufficient. All of our friends were very happy for us. 

Now, we have a solid 2 years to plan our Star Wars themed wedding!